Due to current radiation levels on campus, frequent siting of zombies at the Media Matrix has been reported.
The mastermind behind all this is non other than... well I'm not really at liberty to say, but I can tell you that it is a man. However, this seemingly happy man was kidnapped by aliens ten years ago and now is running their separate agenda to slowly put a vending machine in each common room.
Fellow Students, Unite against the terror that is filling our common rooms! First the common rooms,then the dining halls... it is madness!
Monday, September 22, 2008
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4 comments:
A revelation of the modern times!
no, that can't be true... scary that there is radiation on campus though
wow, I never knew zombies actually existed! Thank you for alerting me to their presence. I will read more into the subject matter. I'm really freaking out! how do you tell a zombie apart from a normal person? how do you kill them? what kind of safety gear do I need? where can I purchase it? I think i saw one in the background of the Rihanna music video, but I'm not to sure, I think Rihanna might be in grave danger, I must get hold of her to warn her before they get her, I've paused he video to make sure nothing happens in the mean time! Help Help Help!
Don't thank me, it's my job to warn the public of such things!
Answers to your questions:
1) How to tell a zombie apart from a living person: a zombie walks strangely, reeks of rotting flesh and makes incoherent noises. Zombies will also try eat you whereas the living wont (except cannibals).
2) How to kill a zombie: the only known way to kill a zombie is to hack it to pieces with a spade or spatula.
3)Safety gear you will need: you will need a helmet, a colander will do. You will need a weapon, a spatula or spade are the only two weapons one may use. You will need footwear, gumboots would be the best, you don't want to be getting your new shoes full of blood when hacking the zombie up. Finally you will need body protection, you should wrap yourself in pillows.
4) Where can people get the safety gear: Good news is you can purchase all the above from me! call me on 0800 ZOMBIE (080 096 6243) now!
As for Rihanna's safety, its a good thing you paused the video, that way nothing will happen. What you must do now to save her is take a spade or spatula and smash the screen so as to ensure the zombie dies.
I hope you found all you need in this quick Zombie Guide! ^_^
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