Mr Lucifer

by Lauren Roodt

I thought about you today,
The old feelings of despair returned as though it were yesterday.
My swollen fingers fumbled for you in the dark
Where your sharp words and silver tongue were always
within arms reach waiting to lick at my flesh.
I saw my face reflected in your alluring eyes as I lay
outstretched on my bed drenched in the moonlights sweat
Turning your blade in my hands.

As if you would stop me I spoke aloud.
You relish the fact that you command me like a puppet
I believed that you had my best interests at heart but you only subdue my pains to trap me
into feelings of worthlessness and hate
You fed on my blood
Making me weaker with every turn
waiting for me to tumble over the edge into oblivion.

Your grey reflection lied to me as the red sap oozed from my veins
"Come on! Do it! Do it! Forget about your past, I'll pave the way..."

I thought of you today, as the
Web of addiction became too strong to bear,
I felt the eight destructive legs of death taking hold of my limbs again.
You promised to set me free from this world of violence and conviction,
that which you cause.
You captivated me as I slowly continued drawing you across my skin.

I thought of you today, as
I realised that I did not know myself
that I was living under your power and that you had taken over.
You pulsed through my body and distracted my thoughts.
You are a control freak,
Living the life that I could not call my own.
I thought it was my life but the devastation had killed me
I wished to destroy you but your force was too strong.
I had no say in the matter, my life was not my own.

You have manipulated me like a rag doll,
and when you grew tired you cast me aside.

But someone heard my cries for hep...
"Dear God, take control of my life, before it takes control of me."

Goodbye Mr Lucifer, now I am free.