Memoir of a new fellow Psychopathic Rhodent Jordan Deall

It was an arduous task, trying to find a suitable hero or survivor of first year. There were many possible candidates to choose from, all with their own unique and soppy tail, but they were not the suitable material for finding the truth, and the ultimate way of surviving first year. Little did I know that the perfect interviewee was closer than I thought, he is my old friend from home, Jordan Deall.

I invited Jordan to my room on a warm, brightly lit Wednesday afternoon. I sat at my computer and he fell into his usual slouch on the bed. The interview started with Jordan lighting up a cigarette and taking a sip of coffee out of a polystyrene cup. As he spoke, the smoke would slowly raise up past through his messy hair that was glimmering in the afternoon sun that was filtering through the window behind him. His face had the usual look of being completely care-free and relaxed, his large expressive eyebrows casting a dark shadow over his eyes. Jordan was dressed in the same style-type clothes that he has been wearing since high school, a green-brown t-shirt, plain brown cargo shorts, and scruffy checked shoes with no socks.

After the first question, which was “How have you survived first year thus far” his immediate reaction was “Um?”, his eyebrows rise up, and he lets go a laugh and says: “Well I haven't really overcome it exactly, I mean I have failed, but they can’t really kick me out now, JA. I've just tried my best to stay out of trouble this term that might lead to my exclusion”. After the two of us had a chuckle at this statement I asked him if first year had been easy, because he seems to be really relaxed about what he said earlier, and he just replied indignantly: “No! I have been working my arse [sic] off this semester, only the beginning was chilled!” He explained that coming to Rhodes was actually a last minute choice for 2008, he said that the only reason he came here was: “because of you, you bastard [referring to me], brainwashing me into wanting to study. I started under false pretences, and then I failed; now I have to work twice as hard to get somewhere”. He continued to hurl abuse at me for the next ten minutes, which resulted in laughter and Jordan lighting up another cigarette. He finished the interview with a glimmer of hope, by saying that he is pulling out all the stops and is trying his best to stay in Rhodes, not by the university not having a good enough excuse to exclude him, but rather by passing.

Jordan is a realistic example of a first year survivor, he is not one of these almost unbelievable characters who manages to receive firsts for every subject and still have time to party every night of the week, instead he is the same as the rest of us, a normal first year who is striving to try get through this utterly new student lifestyle as well as trying to enjoy life to the fullest.
 


Conducted on the 1st October 2008 (Human Time)
Conducted on the 5th Slar phase, year of the Vortengaunt (Standard Universal Time)